Survivor

from by Open Fire!

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lyrics

Will I sit curled up like this until it goes away?
the swallowing feeling that starts at the back of my eyes,
down my throat and through my soul. its endless, it draws me deep.
this is true fear but I wont accept it (as reality)
I can't see anything, I can't breathe.
we're so surrounded by false infinity.
concrete statues from concrete minds seeking infamy
the things we do to just to stay alive.
we all seek infamy (eternity).
but time waits for no man.
from dust to dust.
a death grip on our existence
what will it take for us to let go?
will we waste our lives searching for means to no ends?
or can we dissolve our nature, and no longer pretend
that we are exempt from nature. no life exceeds beyond its means.
I accept no life beyond this world. from dust to fucking dust.
there is no turning back as I take this step forward.
no delusions of eternity, no fear of forever.
there is no turning back, this is all we have left.
(life passes by)
"there is no great reunion in the sky"
but time waits for no man.
from dust to dust.
our death grip,
what will it take for us to let this go?

This song was written in the summer of 2009 with Nick and Ian, shortly before our US tour. This song hasn't really changed since that writing process, and I'm glad, I think we really came together and executed the writing rather perfectly. This song was one of the first instances of Fisch contributing as he wrote the mid tempo sweeping lead over the top of the "Time waits for no man" part. Easily one of my favorite leads on the album. Lyrically - it started from a conversation between Chug and I talking about our mutual fear of death. I recounted a story of one night, when I was 17. I had been attending church with a friend to see if I felt like it was right for me, as well as reading books by Carl Sagan, Lee Strobel (The Case for Christ), Richard Dawkins, and other material from both sides of the religious fence. I was so confused. The one thing that always got me was the idea of sleep being like death - a loss of consciousness. I couldn't recount my time being asleep until I awoke, so since I couldn't awake from death, I wouldn't even know I died. The thought of that scared me senselessly, to the point of having a panic attack. Recounting this to Chug wound up giving him a serious panic attack as well, which is a far more serious medical issue for him. I could tell this was a deep, real issue for both of us. I started reading up more on the study of death, and the sociology of it. I was turned onto the documentary "Flight From Death: The Quest for Immortality" which studied the fear of death and the things it has spawned and created in our world. It was produced by Greg Bennick of local hardcore bands Trial and Between Earth and Sky. I even had a chance to talk to him briefly about these things. The quoted lyric towards the end is from "You Dream, You Wake, You Live, You Die" by Amora Savant/Andy Parmann, a band (and lyric) I love dearly. I believe that religion is the longest and deepest coping mechanism mankind has ever created to deal with this fear that has lingered in our species as far back as time can show us. It isn't a complete declaration of absolution of the fear, but hopefully coming to terms with it a bit.

credits

from I Am the Curse, released August 25, 2012

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Open Fire! Tacoma, Washington

melodic hardcore band from Tacoma, WA. 2005-2012

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